Thank you Tiffany, who so promptly and gently came to our house at 11pm to see how we were getting on. She brought no judgement, and no baggage from the 10 hour shift she had been on just 5 hours previously. I trusted her completely.

Thank you Rebecca, who joined her and waited while we walked up and down our road, in a strange limbo, with frequent, ineffectual contractions.

They didn't once say "just", or make me feel silly or small. We felt listened to and supported in our decision to keep trying at home, despite ruptured membranes outside of their standard risk profile.

And when the fetal heartbeat decelerated too far for them to be comfortable any longer, there was no implication that we had wasted their time, no panic, no force. They gave their advice dispassionately, with no agenda.

Thank you Grace, who brought such calm to our room, did not observe or interfere. Who tried to get a fetal monitoring spiral so that I could get up (turns out you can't attach those to faces though, silly baby), who pushed for us to have another hour, and another hour to avoid surgery. She talked me through all the details of a C-section so I would know what to expect if it had to happen. She got everyone possible to come and advise us on possible next steps and made sure we had time to consider quietly on our own.

And Michelle, Head Midwife on the labour ward, who had spent some time with me making decisions over our time there, who came to find me after the cesarean to say, "I just wanted to come and tell you, you did everything you could. Don't ever feel like you failed, there was no other way". I can quote her; those words have rung in my head eversince. When I chide myself for not carrying on, not being stronger, I play back that moment and it helps so much.

Medway maternity services are absolutely smashing it.

http://www.kentonline.co.uk/medway/news/safer-birthing-project-wins-award-121820/

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